Somebody Save Me
by A Sun Storm
Summary: River asks a question that has rarely been answered. She want to know about his past...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, I love Doctor Who, I cry at it a lot :L so I was thinking that no one really knows the Doctor's past so, I thought I'd share my veiw...**

**DISCLAIMER! I DON'T OWN DOCTOR WHO UNFORTUANTLY I MEAN IF I DID MATT SMITH WOULD BE MINE I MEAN HE IS SO HOT LIKE FOR LIFE! SO IM SAD NOW :( WEH**

* * *

><p>"So sweetie, tell me...everything!" River Song said as she placed a perfectly shined boot on the TARDIS console, to be quickly ushered off by the Doctor.<p>

"Everything, River? Well, that will take a while...Any specific topics?" he said this whilst jumping around the console hitting buttons and changing levers.  
>"Why about you of course, honey!"<p>

The Doctor stopped in his track, his back to River. If she could see his eyes she'd regret asking,  
>his usually playful, childlike green eyes were brimming with tears. The Doctors two hearts were breaking, he used all his strength not to breakdown and hug himself. The sound was so loud,<br>the sound of cracking, of lonliness and of fear, of remembering, of loss. He held on to the TARDIS console to remain stable. "I...I..." he mumbled to her, before turning round and leaving the room swiftly and without looking at River.

She searched the TARDIS for hours, looking in all the bedrooms and bathrooms, swimming pools and libraries. She eventually found him asleep in an old looking study, surrounded by books and dust. He sat upon a dark green armchair and had his feet on a dark, oak table.  
>She could see tear tracks down his perfectly sculptured face, and his hair was sticking up at all angles where he had pulled at it in either anger or despair, she didn't know. She sat down and looked at her husband, "Oh, darling, I'm so sorry."<p>

She picked up a book and waited on him to wake up.

* * *

><p>The doctor jumped with a start as she reached the 9th chapter of the 7th Harry Potter book.<br>"Hello, sleeping beauty!"

He rubbed his chin and ran his fingers through his hair. "I cried at that book..." He said when he noticed what she was reading.

"Are you okay?" River looked at him over the rim of the book.

He nodded slightly. "I'm sorry River, I really am..."  
>"Sweetie what for?"<br>"For leaving when you asked...asked about me."  
>"Oh, you silly man, its okay. I understand!"<br>"No, River, it isn't...I have to tell you, no matter how much it hurts, I...I have to tell you"

* * *

><p><strong>so...sorry for the grammer and spelling, I was using notepad...weh. I'm hoping to get 2 reveiws...for a next chapter ;) so reveiw :L xx<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Doctor Who blaaa de blaa..I love matt smith etc etc :) okay, thank you so much for the positive response on the first chapter, I didn't realise how hard it is to capture the Doctor's unique childlike-ness but his pain at the same time.I'll admit this is not my best chapter But hey, I tried, so once again, sorry for he grammer and the spelling, I'm currently stuck using note pad. No spell check :O worst nightmare ever! Thank you to the 5 reveiwers! If you like please tell people who like Doctor Who about this :) 3**

* * *

><p>"When I was a kid, I thought Gallifrey was perfect, with it's senate of wise, peaceful old men My dad was in the senate, I thought he was like a god. He was the only male in my life except my younger brother. The time lords kept a watchful eye over the time vortex and over the different dimensions. My dad, always told me stories about when he travelled...but that changed when my mum died. I was only about 7 when she died. My younger sister and brother and me had to go live with our uncle because dad was always working. I didn't mind though. He lived in the most remote part, with forests of silver leaved trees and fields of deep, red grass. I loved exploring, I still do,"the Doctor said looking at River. His body was bent forward with his hands cupped together.<br>River stared at him under her mane of dark-blonde hair, her eyes filled with wonder and shock that he was letting her into his past. She knew from her mum that he rarely spoke of home and the facts that he had told her, shocked her to the core. He was so young when he lost his mum and she couldn't imagine not knowing that her mum wasn't alive. Even though she didn't grow up having parents, she always knew them.  
>When she snapped back to attention, the Doctor began again.<p>

"I met my best friend when I was living with my uncle, the Master as the world knows him or Harry Saxon.  
>We were insepreable, when we were 8, we were sent to the untempered schism, like all 8 year olds, thats when he changed. The untempered schism is the time vortex, staring into the raw power of the whole of time. You either ran or go mad. I ran, as I always do but he went mad. Started with the drums, the nightmares and then he became cold. But I never left his side, he was my best friend...I couldn't. Then we started the acadmy. It was a school, for future soliders, senate members or goverment workers. I was suspected to be a senate member like my dad, but I ended up being a solider because of my firey temper at injustice, so was the Master. We graduated when we were 20 and he entered the army straight away, not that he did much. The timelords were too peaceful to always be at war. I took a gap from my career and concentrated on finding a place to life. it took a while but i found a place in the acient, domed city. That's when i met Tierna..." the Doctor drifted of in deep nostaligia. River patted his knee sensing he needed some comfort, he didn't seem to notice.<p>

"We got bonded 2 years later. In Gallifrey, we technically didn't have weddings, we had bondings. Soon, we had our first son, Connor. She loved Earth like me, so we picked all popular earth names. He was a stubborn child. But he had the right intentions. But when his little sisters were born, he changed, became a gentle, protective big brother. We had identical twins, Lauren and Rebekah. when they started school, the twins were made fun of once," the Doctor smiled thinking of this memory,"And Connor, punched the people who made fun of the girls, I'll never forget him sitting in the head's office grinning like a maniac. He got kicked out but secretly I was proud. Sounds weird right? when the twins were 11 Tierna had our last child, Jamie. She died giving birth to him," The Doctor's lip began to quiver. He stood up and took his jacket off, turning away from River as he didn't want her to see him cry again. He walked to the door, and mumbled something about tea. He left room, and left River alone in the armchair...

* * *

><p>Back in the room, River didn't have to be a genius to figure out what was up. She rubbed her chin and sighed, it was weird to think of her Doctor, the love of her life to be with someone else. The thought made her cringe, feel sick and feel sad at the same time, knowing that she wasn't his first true love. She picked up the Harry Potter book and began reading again, thinking the Doctor would be a while.<p>

* * *

><p>The Doctor himself, didn't go to the closest kitchen, but made his way to a little kitchen only he knew about at the furlest reaches of the TARDIS. He just needed to be a while...He hadn't spoke to anyone in so long about his life and he had to admit, it felt good. But the pain was becoming more and more prominate. He put the kettle on and sat down. Thinking of how he missed his kids, the pain of losing a part of you was...undescribible, like the whole universe had disappeared and you were falling into an abyss full of blackness and sometimes there was a bit of light in the form of companions and friends, but they soon dimmed and Jenny, beautiful Jenny, she was like some of the universe was reappearing but then it was snatched away, so soon...Once again the feeling of the abyss came back, but he had river now. He smiled to himself as he thought about how fortunate he was.<br>But it still freaked him out he was in law related to Amelia Pond! He chuckled as he dumped tea bags in cups and mixed. He looked about the small tiled room and beamed, this had always been his favourite place, like a room the TARDIS had added just for him.

* * *

><p>He walked into the room and noticed River was asleep, he sat her tea down and sat down himself. He didn't want to stop telling her so he just began talking, like he once did as he was closing the cracks in time...<p>

* * *

><p><strong>okay thanks again for reading :D xx<strong>


End file.
